Macho Mandalf vs the Tarrasque

 

Me vs a Tarrasque

-- From the notes of Macho Mandalf

Saturday 17th December 2022 9:06am

Not long after I had finished my daily breakfast of a Heroes' Feast, a report came in that a huge creature was rampaging across Machodor's northern border. Brave members of the Pegasus scouts were trying to slow it down, but this was proving to be a hopeless task. With a start I realised that such an event was just as Jeffro, an other-planner creature with whom I sometimes have occasion to converse, had prophesised.

By 9:15am I was equipped and Enlarged by 200% as well as Flying (among many other spells). I Teleported to the location and met with the leader of the Pegasus scout unit. At the sight of the creature I was forced to gather my courage (he made his save vs paralysation with a 16, but was immune to fear anyway thanks the to Heroes Feast - Ed.). I ordered them to withdraw to a safe distance.

At 9:16am I cast Legend Lore to learn about the creature. No surprise, it was, as the prophecy stated, the legendary Tarrasque.

At 9:36am I flew down and approached to within 200 yards (spell range). Immediately the creature bellowed up at me, but it could do nothing.

Oh Yeah, can't do nothing down there

At 9:37am I cast Slow, there is no save from this magic. The Tarrasque would now move and attack at 1/2 Speed.

At 9:38am I cast Slow. Slow is cumulative; the Tarrasque now moves and attacks at 1/4 Speed.

At 9:39am I cast Slow again. The Tarrasque now moves and attacks at 1/8 Speed.

At 9:40am I cast Slow again. The Tarrasque now moves and attacks at 1/16 Speed.

At 9:41am I flew right up to the creature and cast Polymorph Other on it. Normally it would need a 4 to save and prevent the magic having any effect; but my "Robe of the Archmagi" applies a penalty of -4 to such spells.

I had 4 Polymorph Other spells memorised, the odds were in my favour one of them would take effect; but, on the first try the Tarrasque rolled a 4. It turned into a fish and immediately started helplessly thrashing around (at 1/16 speed) on the ground.

At 9:42am I commenced a beat down on the "Fisharasque" with melee weapons and kept going until the creature was reduced to -40 hit points.

At 10:11am I used one precious charge from my Ring of Three Wishes to kill the Tarrasque.

10:12am; Now the creature was dead, I Dispelled the Polymorph and looted the body.

Machodor was safe once again, for now

Later the upper portion, treated with acid and then heated in a furnace, yielded 80 base 1000gp Gems.

Ragnar Dwarfs have been contracted to create 2 Shields of +5 magical power from the remains.

The gems broke down in this fashion:

• 13  increased in value to 5000 Gold Machos, of these
•    3 were worth10,000gp
•       1 10-40% below -> 8,000
•       1 20,000gp
•       1 10-60% above -> 15,000
•    1 10,000gp
•    1 10-60%-> 6000
•    3 10-40% below ->4000, 3000, 2000
• 13 doubled in value to 2000gp
• 7 increased in value by 10-60% -> 1200, 1300, 1600, 1300, 1500, 1600, 1500gp
• 10 actually decreased in value by 10-40% -> 900*3, 700*2, 600*3 800*2
• 35 were worth 1000gp
• 5 were actually worth only 500gp

Total Gem treasure 137,600 gp

Kill XP = 37,500

Total XP = 175,100 

With my 10% Intelligence Bonus = 192,610 XP 

A surprisingly limited creature, given the reputation it has. Well, it's good to be the Macho King.

The Magic Mirror of Machodor

 

-- From the notes of Macho Mandalf

It was early on, when the walls of Minas Mandalf had scarcely dried, that a force of Dervish arrived to join forces with me. This in itself was not unusual, but their Leader Agamanon (Level 12 Cleric) had with him an item I had never heard of, one that would transform the nature of life in Machodor. The name of this magic item was the Mirror of Mental Prowess.

DMG 1e Magic Item description

AD&D 2nd Edition version of the Mirror

Before coming into possession of this mirror, messages travelling via Pegasus Express was the main method of communication, and required about 24 hours to go from one end of Machodor to the other. Now, messages could travel in real time. But not just messages; troops, materials, and most of all, Adventurers could now be deployed where and when they were needed.

The Adventurers believe I facilitate this for their benefit, which is partly true, but more often than not their efforts are directed towards the good of the realm.

Initially, I allowed Adventurers to simply enter the facility via the keep itself, but now I have them transported into the facility via a special room built for this purpose in the Adventurers Aid Society Octagon in the outer section of the city of Minas Mandalf.

Transporting large groups

King Valentine

I could even use this wonder mirror to make contact with my home reality; W.W.Earth. When I did so I contacted my old friend King Valentine of the Broldor Elves. He was experiencing great difficulties and welcomed the chance to bring his whole clan over to my new world.

I soon realised that this mirror was so important it required the highest levels of security. Therefore, I constructed a facility for this purpose deep under the Keep of Minas Mandalf . 

Original Design for Mirror Facility (now obsolete)

Striking at evil from afar

Once I had this power I felt compelled to use it against the forces of evil, but this is not always so easy as it sounds;

I focused on the mirror. "Show me Emlyn!" The surface swirls like stirred mercury. Mystical sparks crackle from the instrument's frame. The opaque surface moves to the edges as if it were alive to reveal -- nothing. All in the mirror is pitch blackness. All can be heard is a slow dripping and quiet lapping of waves. Then a brightness appears. A ball of flame lights a brazier to reveal a barge floating on a sunless sea. On the barge is an altar and a throne. Ghouls writhe around the base of the altar. Sitting on the throne is Emlyn, dressed in gold and white robes. In her arms she cradles a new born infant. Tied to the altar is a pregnant woman. She stands and lovingly raises the infant to her teeth. And feeds. On the altar the pregnant woman struggles and screams then she's paralyzed with fear as Emlyn approaches. A nail caresses the pregnant woman's neck. Then Emlyn looks up. "It's a peeping Tom I see. We've been waiting for you."

Only the final line of defence in the above set up prevented complete disaster when I tried to destroy an enemy of Machodor, the Penanggalen Emlyn. After this incident I rebuilt the Mirror room. The plans for the current layout exist only in my mind, so they cannot not to fall into the wrong hands.

Retrieval of lost items

There are certain magic items which, once used, disappear; only to reappear in some other location, perhaps even on another plane of existence. The Mirror has even been used to track and retrieve such items;

Machodor Psicorps Logs; Initiation of Cohn Jarter, Lawful Good Fighter level 3

The surface of the mirror changes and swirls, then finally you can see what looks like an icy cavern. Light is coming into the cavern from above, illuminating a number of items piled on white skins and furs, on top of which is a small box the size of deck of cards.

Okay so Cohn Jarter steps through the portal

As you step through you can feel your body being transported in some way, and then you find yourself in the very cold cavern. The process seemed to take longer than normal.

I move forward and attempt to find the deck

Once inside the cave, your eyes adjust and you can see a lot better what is in there. The walls are white and icy, but there is enough light to see. You carefully note the exact location where you are standing, knowing that you must find it again to return to Minas Mandalf. Ahead of you, the deck sits upon a pile of treasure; coins, gems, and jewellery can be seen as well as a potion flask and a scroll. As you move you notice 3 huge creatures standing around the treasure pile, clearly they are guarding it. They are 8' tall, look like shaggy white apes, you realise that previously they had been perfectly camouflaged against the backdrop of the icy cavern. As you watch they sniff the air around them, but take no action.

Okay so I'm going to creep, slowly and quietly, up to place where the deck is sat, and do the Indiana Jones thing with the false deck. I touch NOTHING but the deck itself, not even the surface it lies on.

Ok you expertly swap the deck out and the shaggy white creatures have no clue. That was so easy, you wonder if you could grab something else...

No I do not. I steal the deck, AND ONLY THE DECK, and creep back over to the portal to Minas Mandalf 

Conclusion

The Magic Mirror is now the back bone of rapid transport for Machodor, enabling routine travel to St. Therese in the 5 Cities area, the Flying Castle occupied by the Broldor Elves and their Cloud Giant allies, and the new island in the seas far to the south east. But, it has limitations; it does not work for the island of Bombrazillo beyond the peninsula, or areas specifically warded against scrying (as per Crystal Balls & Scrying DMG pg.119 --CJM.). Also, although it can facilitate two-way communications, there is no way to activate the Mirror from a remote location without first using some other means to attract the attention of its attendants. I have, therefore, made a high priority the recruitment of Psionic individuals with appropriate abilities to the Pegasus Scout Regiment.

Even now, the opportunity exists to smite evil, once again using the Magic Mirror to reach out and do so.

The Puglins of Machodor

Vitruvian Pug

-- From the notes of Macho Mandalf

This time or there abouts last year, the manpower situation at the "Ruined Keep" (yet to be renamed Minas Mandalf) was dire, compared to today, standing at;

150 Pugmen

6 Goblinas

Once the scourge of the Trollopulous sewers and swamps, these guys were now completely under my sway thanks to Charm spells.

Captured from the former goblin city of Nilbog. 

It seemed logical to me that Polymorph Other can change a creature's species, but not its sex; so the Charmed Goblinas were vital to my plan, which was as follows:

1. Polymorph female goblin into a Pugwoman 
2. NSFW
3. Cast Haste on the pregnant Pugwoman. Haste ages its recipient 1 year, thus bringing the little blighter to term and, as it happens, maturity.
4. Charm them 
5.  Profit!

The plan was to repeat the above process until sufficient numbers for expansion existed.

So far so good, however, the first batch of new troops did not quite turn out the way I expected. It seems that breeding with Polymorphed creatures results in a hybrid rather than a pure blood. The creatures that emerged were smaller, weaker, and uglier than before; with the saving grace that they could now speak a language other than Yipps and barks. I needed a new name so, naturally, I called them Puglins.

The Puglins proved to be exceptional diggers, so the first job for them was digging the massive ditches first around the Keep, the foundation of the city of Minas Mandalf, then around other sites in Machodor.

One day I was explaining all this to the Half-Orc Fagor, whose alarm increased at every step of the process as he grasped its meaning. I supposed he was correct that perhaps creating a vast number of Puglins could just possibly backfire on me at some future date. I suppose also it was just as well I didn't think to apply these methods with the four captured Tharks I had.

Around the same time a huge force of 40,000 Weebs landed on the shores to the south west. I soon realised that I was not going to Puglin my way out of this problem, and ceased production.

In the end there were 450 Puglins created. 

Fort Pug

Now the majority of the Puglins live in the swamp, near Minas Mandalf, in a captured castle and are responsible for the patrol of its environs. The remainder garrison the outpost at the formerly named "Lake Town". Since its founding the lake itself has disappeared into the earth, so the place is now simply known as "Town".