Macho Mandalf vs the Tarrasque

 

Me vs a Tarrasque

-- From the notes of Macho Mandalf

Saturday 17th December 2022 9:06am

Not long after I had finished my daily breakfast of a Heroes' Feast, a report came in that a huge creature was rampaging across Machodor's northern border. Brave members of the Pegasus scouts were trying to slow it down, but this was proving to be a hopeless task. With a start I realised that such an event was just as Jeffro, an other-planner creature with whom I sometimes have occasion to converse, had prophesised.

By 9:15am I was equipped and Enlarged by 200% as well as Flying (among many other spells). I Teleported to the location and met with the leader of the Pegasus scout unit. At the sight of the creature I was forced to gather my courage (he made his save vs paralysation with a 16, but was immune to fear anyway thanks the to Heroes Feast - Ed.). I ordered them to withdraw to a safe distance.

At 9:16am I cast Legend Lore to learn about the creature. No surprise, it was, as the prophecy stated, the legendary Tarrasque.

At 9:36am I flew down and approached to within 200 yards (spell range). Immediately the creature bellowed up at me, but it could do nothing.

Oh Yeah, can't do nothing down there

At 9:37am I cast Slow, there is no save from this magic. The Tarrasque would now move and attack at 1/2 Speed.

At 9:38am I cast Slow. Slow is cumulative; the Tarrasque now moves and attacks at 1/4 Speed.

At 9:39am I cast Slow again. The Tarrasque now moves and attacks at 1/8 Speed.

At 9:40am I cast Slow again. The Tarrasque now moves and attacks at 1/16 Speed.

At 9:41am I flew right up to the creature and cast Polymorph Other on it. Normally it would need a 4 to save and prevent the magic having any effect; but my "Robe of the Archmagi" applies a penalty of -4 to such spells.

I had 4 Polymorph Other spells memorised, the odds were in my favour one of them would take effect; but, on the first try the Tarrasque rolled a 4. It turned into a fish and immediately started helplessly thrashing around (at 1/16 speed) on the ground.

At 9:42am I commenced a beat down on the "Fisharasque" with melee weapons and kept going until the creature was reduced to -40 hit points.

At 10:11am I used one precious charge from my Ring of Three Wishes to kill the Tarrasque.

10:12am; Now the creature was dead, I Dispelled the Polymorph and looted the body.

Machodor was safe once again, for now

Later the upper portion, treated with acid and then heated in a furnace, yielded 80 base 1000gp Gems.

Ragnar Dwarfs have been contracted to create 2 Shields of +5 magical power from the remains.

The gems broke down in this fashion:

• 13  increased in value to 5000 Gold Machos, of these
•    3 were worth10,000gp
•       1 10-40% below -> 8,000
•       1 20,000gp
•       1 10-60% above -> 15,000
•    1 10,000gp
•    1 10-60%-> 6000
•    3 10-40% below ->4000, 3000, 2000
• 13 doubled in value to 2000gp
• 7 increased in value by 10-60% -> 1200, 1300, 1600, 1300, 1500, 1600, 1500gp
• 10 actually decreased in value by 10-40% -> 900*3, 700*2, 600*3 800*2
• 35 were worth 1000gp
• 5 were actually worth only 500gp

Total Gem treasure 137,600 gp

Kill XP = 37,500

Total XP = 175,100 

With my 10% Intelligence Bonus = 192,610 XP 

A surprisingly limited creature, given the reputation it has. Well, it's good to be the Macho King.