Bumblebore's Inconvenient Sphincter

Level (Ill 2, M-U 3)

Range: 8" +1/level

Duration: 3 turns

Area of Effect:1 Creature or Object

Components: V,S

Casting Time:3 segments

Saving Throw: half-size hole

Explanation/Description: This spell opens a hole on the underside of the target (the side that is currently facing the ground), in the hopes that something important might fall out.  If the target is a creature, it gets a saving throw, objects do not. The width of the hole is a percentage of the size of the target equal to the caster's level + 1d10.  Obviously, the larger the hole the more likely that something important may fall out.  Because of variability of targets, this must be left up to the DM.  Obviously there are major differences between intestines falling out of a small hernia and a heart or lungs falling out of an armored chest.  Did the ship dump bilgewater or the pirate treasure chest to the bottom of the ocean?  You get it.

If the target is capable of rolling after the sphincter opens, it magically slides around to face the ground no matter their position.  A belly opening might slide around to expose the spine if a cow were to do a barrel roll.

The verbal component of this spell is shouting, "Not again!"  The somatic component is clutching one's buttocks with both hands.  At least one hand must be free for this clench, although the other can be holding a staff or wand or something.  If the other hand is holding a torch or lantern there is a 1 in 6 chance of igniting the caster's clothing.